The 100 day process…

On September 12th, I began: 10 concrete goals… 5 personal, 5 professional-
including one to try 100 new things before December 20th... 100 days. Granted, in setting these goals I did expect life would be slightly back to some sort of normalcy and I’d have a bit more travel involved. So, my perspective of what constituted “new” altered slightly.

I’m not calling it a challenge because that implies an ending. This 100 day process is going to continue- especially as we head into the new year. Twelve months gives me far too much room to procrastinate.

100 days is a nice little kick in the ass.

Of the 10 goals, 5 are already complete, 2 more will be (expect one more post this week), and 2 won’t be finished.

I also have six days to add 21 new items to complete my list of 100.

While I’ve read my share of new books (18), tried a few new restaurants (11), watched a couple movies (highly recommend Molly’s Game if you haven’t seen it), taken/taught new classes, and tried a few new experiences…

I’m intrigued by the new emotions I’ve explored.

Though it wasn’t one of the ten concrete goals, I wanted to discover in these 100 days what it means for me to feel seen, safe, and soothed- in my own terms.

Guess it shouldn’t be shocking that an emotional aspect would emerge, but honestly, I didn’t expect it.

I’ve had a little time to sit with some thoughts, to try on old beliefs and decide which ones I’m ready to toss.

If you’ve ever watched Hoarders, maybe you’ve asked the same question that I have a million times… Why the hell are you keeping that?? It’s moldy and full of mouse shit! Get rid of it!!!

Ironically, old beliefs are similar… especially the toxic ones. They’re familiar and easy to slip on like a comfortable sweatshirt. Maybe it’s ripped or a couple sizes too big- definitely seen better days- but we convince ourselves that it feels safe.

But like the moldy hoarder shit, toxic beliefs are never safe either.

So I’ve been sitting with some new emotions and beliefs lately. And while I maybe breathe a little easier with vulnerability, boundaries, and most recently, surrender… they aren’t nearly as comfortable yet as that tattered sweatshirt.

Even in their unfamiliarity, though, they’re guiding me closer to understanding what it means to feel seen, safe, and soothed. I haven’t figured it all out yet.

Maybe it’s an eternal process of revisions.
Maybe it’ll be clearer after the next 100 days.

What I do know is that even during some really dark days and a year of absolute fuckery, there are moments of brilliance.

I think, without this list, I would’ve thought I’d accomplished little of nothing over the past 3 1/2 months. It’s actually quite the opposite.

The world can change pretty dramatically in a year. Hell, people can change dramatically in a year. I guess I feel a little more empowered with smaller time frames.

I like the bite-size pieces. Life snacks.

Sunday starts the next 100 day process: ten new goals, 100 new things. Maybe I’ll finish them all, likely I won’t. Regardless, there’s no room in this process to feel less than.

94 days ago I couldn’t comprehend the possibility of some of these one hundred (well, 79 so far) new experiences. Yes, the goals are important, but so is leaving a little room to let life take the sails and enjoy the ride.